Monday, May 2, 2011

Old Man Osama and the Sea.

Did Hemingway have Osama in mind when he wrote his book? Who is going to write the sequel of the sharks, sea, and Osama now? It took almost a decade to get Osama Bin Laden aka OBL. Taliban is upset at Pakistan because they did such a poor job at hiding Osama. US generosity and their caves had served well, both for OBL and his goats. Even though Pakistan is Taliban's sugar daddy whose grand sugar daddy in turn is Saudi Arabia - OBL's capture, death, and being thrown in the sea, now will have their women throw off those despicable garments with a greater ferocity. More speeches, from all sides of the mouth will be delivered. However, on the financial level, I am hoping that Pakistan will lose millions and millions of dollars, both from the Saudis and the US. Saudis had showered them with a cart load of millions to hide OBL in caves or compounds; the US to seek and destroy OBL. They failed miserably on both fronts. The head is gone but the body will show the world what it can do minus the head. The big fat challenge is out and there will be quite a few rounds of bombings and suicide missions to go around the world. 

So what else can the US do now? One enemy Saddam was vanquished and hanged by the Iraqis. Iraqis got loads of freedom only to turn around and curse the US. The world too joined in the chorus but quickly got distracted and dropped some bombs on Gaddafi's compound. In response one particular friend in Australia raved and ranted about labor issues and the corporate world! Others I noticed revived the issue of propping up OBL in Afghanistan. I got confused. Of course, the US has been senile in its policies. But what could be more insane than OBL starting a world wide movement (WWM) within a stone's throw of the world wide web (WWW). We'll still get to see the finger-wag and threats to annihilate al and sundry and other such blah blah blah. Obama removed the b from his name and put an s in its place, rolled up his sleeves, did a few more rounds of Golf, found some more euphemisms for terrorism, and said, that's it, if I can't get Muanmmar Gaddafi because that name is too difficult, let me try the simpler and similar sounding name of Osama; Obama-Osama. 

Maybe O also lost patience with the extreme myopic vision of the Pakistanis who couldn't see just below their nose even. Boys, Obama said, I'll simplify it more than Bush; I don't want OBL dead or alive; only dead; and let's not get into the drama of embalming the body and all that. Let's bury the body in the sea - another euphemism for throwing the body in the sea. Now the sharks are cringing and complaining from the paucity of meat and like a friend Vandana said, are protesting from all that human poisoning. If the US has to be believed and all the conspiracy theories to be disbelieved - Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive is now swimming in the sea. Considering the mayhem this man caused, he still managed to achieve a nice rhythmic movement - from palace to cave to mansion to sea. I'm wondering if Osama will have the same mesmerizing powers over the sharks as he had over people; perhaps recruit some sharks for a few suicide missions; maybe have them give up the comfort of the box or sea; go out swimming in alien waters; change their shark like habits of feeding on the ones thrown in and become more proactive; don some suicide belts, read some literature, get soaked in the ideology; become messengers of death.


  1. Good job Buddy!
    I feel sorry for the sharks.

  2. Vandana Shah:
    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Visualize a standing ovation from me. Tussi great ho ji!!! I can't believe you came up with such a masterpiece, in such a short span of time. These publishing companies don't know what they are missing...but then how would they...unless somebody tries to turn some work in...wink! wink! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece!!! What bindaas, fearless, super observant and insightful piece of writing. I loved the sarcasm, potshots, and humour you employed.I really feel bad for the under water beings who will now go thru what other beings went thru on the land. Are we to now fear attacks from the sharks and other sea animals???? I just can't get over your lines about the headless body still yielding power from underneath the

  3. Reena Dodeja:
    Taliya !! Masterpiece ! Wonderfully described...every inch..every word ! Cheers 1

  4. Neera Pant:
    Great piece of writing yet again Joyce..Loved the descriptions...maybe with the cospiracy theories doing the rounds if there is another Tsunami(hopefully not) we can know who the culprit is.....

  5. Jaiya Venkat:
    Superb!!!! Well described with heavy doses of subtle humor... First para fell in love ...& the last one too. In total a great piece beautifully written to close OBL chapter.....OBL's death is a tribute to the millions who lost their lives at the expense of his barbaric acts.Well done JO...keep it going!!!

  6. Sudha Ahluwalia:
    Joyce , truly a brilliant piece of writing.

  7. Nice piece Joyce, however if i may comment and err on the side of justice for all. Ride the wave, tis like pop culture. Little be known of cause and loss, we condone death but not killing and now we celebrate both. Poverty is truly the cause of all evil as presented by many who believe it blindly without the knowledge of
    question or justice seeking. As we know from history the rich always win, the victors dictate the course of how history will be perceived.