Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I am what I yam: Iron Man.

I am what I yam: Iron Man.: I finally managed to get a man excited about an iron. Many years ago, I did not mind ironing but somehow over the years, I lost the abilit...

Iron Man.

I finally managed to get a man excited about an iron. Many years ago, I did not mind ironing but somehow over the years, I lost the ability to iron a shirt in its entirety. I invariably ironed 'one' sleeve and forgot the other or ignored the collar or preferred to iron only the top part of the shirt thinking shirt tails were going to be tucked in anyway. Was I behaving like a man, doing things in a shabby manner so that I would be told to forget about it? I know I've seen sloppy behavior, told my husband just leave it, I'll do it myself. It has occurred with regularity with dishes and laundry and folding and cleaning. While the status of an entire house does not affect my husband, a little obdurate spot on an obscure corner of a wall can certainly excite his ire! 

So now, my husband has taken the onerous task of ironing his shirts himself. He will no longer let me near his shirts. He gets so happy about his handiwork that I wonder why he doesn't keep those shirts for posterity. Unfortunately, the other day our iron decided to stop working. What a shock. I immediately knew it had something to do with Made in China syndrome. Our earlier iron had lasted us for many years. Alas, those days are long gone and we have to make do with products that are cheap but do not last. I was glad the manufacturer's warranty was still there and I was at the store to complain about this misbehaving iron and of course to get a new one. Keeping my husband's disappointment in mind, I also made the brave decision of buying not one but two irons. 

My husband likes 'back up' things and has generally kept himself satisfied with these although I do marvel that he has not thought of a back up wife! I'd like to remind him  that years of marriage have dampened my status of being one-and-only-one and a back up could work for me as well. I debated between picking up a pink iron or just the good old blue. I knew if I picked up a pink one, my husband would not touch it for fear of turning into a girl. So, I got two blue irons. If only I'd known that a little iron could make somebody so happy, I would've filled the house with irons. Now my husband alternates between the two irons. I told him that maybe he should iron one sleeve with one iron and the other sleeve with the other iron. I'm sure it will be a beautiful threesome - husband, shirt, and iron; menage a trois perhaps?

Monday, May 7, 2012

Proms and Pomegranates.

This Prom thing has been going on for many days now; finally it got over a couple of days ago. Those tuxedos had to be rented and of course they had to be matched with the girls’ dresses. For a moment I thought oh wow the lads will look colorful as well. But only the vests had to match the girls’ dresses. My son Adin made sure I was there with my camera to take pictures before the Prom got under way at some place. Initially, a limousine was decided but I am pretty sure when the parents yelled at the exorbitant rates, the kids balked and rented a party bus. I helped my son with his tuxedo only after I made sure he exchanged his shoes, the kinds some men riding pink Cadillacs wear with decent one-color- shoes. Nobody noticed but Adin wore only one cufflink. As cufflinks were a new phenomenon in my house, Adin and I argued about the right way to wear them. Some of his friends thought, they went on jackets! Damn those insufferable formalities.

At the gathering before the Prom, the girls looked extremely pretty in their Prom dresses and the boys looked dashing in their tuxedos. I was impressed because the girls also braved the cold and were haughty enough not to ask for additional coverings or jackets from the boys, not that the boys showed any signs of lending their jackets to the girls. It took me a while to figure out the matching tuxedos with the corresponding dresses. The whole place was awash with color and flutter. Nonetheless, most kids had fun at the Prom. Unfortunately, much to the consternation of parents, the school authorities threw out a few of them even before the celebrations started. They must have smelled something fishy. Those school authorities with their long noses are perpetually present to spoil all teenage fun. Damn those authority figures.

Adin danced with his Prom date, then took the liberty of dancing with another, then spent a considerable amount of time cajoling the prom date, then took to pouting himself with the other pouting girls, and finally declared all girls to be unreasonable and extremely dramatic. I can only imagine the girls declaring all boys to be obnoxious and unthinking and unfeeling as well. I don’t know if the protocol was for the boys to exchange vests if they wanted to exchange partners! Nobody knows when the kids got home or if they did at all. I just hope kids don’t think that school was over just because Prom was over as there are quite a few months remaining for school. Sometimes one directional brains are detected in teenagers and other times over-activity. Scientists are still working on how a teenage brain works or if it works at all. I'm just glad this damn pomegranate is over. And before I forget, damn those scientists for taking so long.