Monday, March 31, 2014

Frenzy of Heavy Metal Music

If there's anything that can drive people in a state of frenzy then it has to be headache-inducing-head-banging-Metal. If you're going for the kill, this is the music that one must hear. Not only will it explode the enemy's head, it will pretty much cause an explosion of your own head as well. In case, you ever had a chance to see live Metal Show, you'll see on stage, the machoest of macho men, the alpha males, the kind every girl dreams of till her ear drums are ready to give up all pretense of sound. Lead guitarists and Bass guitarists, each occupy between three to four feet of horizontal space with their leg-spread, six feet of vertical height, with an additional few feet above to allow for leaping, jumping and landing on stage or off onto the heads or into arms of frenzied fans. Girls wait for such immense weights to fall on them; boys and men don't mind it either; after all Metal is the rite of passage!

So what is Metal? It is as generally described as thick, massive sound characterized by highly amplified distortion and loudness beyond loud. Heavy Metal performance styles are often associated with ultra masculinity, aggression and machismo! Urban Dictionary describes it as a type of music characterized by a cacophonous wall of sound and accelerated tempo achieved through distorted electric guitars playing fast-paced riffs, with the driving drumbeat often utilizing hypersonic double bass rhythms. Other sub genres besides Heavy metal are Death Metal, Thrash Metal, Drone Metal, Post Metal, Sludge Metal, Speed Metal, Glam Metal and other choice Metals.

There is no voice like that of Heavy Metal. If Satan enjoyed or played music, he would do it the Metal way. For music, there is rumble followed by thunder and finally by doom. Yes, it's those Metal Guys belting out sounds straight from the belly of the beast. Those vocal cords have to be made of steel! Drums are hit with all possible might, guitars are played with a vengeance, words or something sounding like words are spat out to the tune of thunder. Leaping, jumping, sliding, clawing, racing on stage on one leg with long wavy hair, clanking chains, smashing heads, shattering drums, and generally breaking things are part and parcel of a Metal Show.

It is difficult to say who feeds off whose energy and madness. Metalheads are just as senile as their heroes, the Metal Men. Just in case, Metal Bands see any signs of dissipating energy in the lunatic world also known as 'crowds', pyrotechnics are there to provide all necessary fire and heat. Smoke bellows out from all corners of the stage and entire bands look ready to explode. The crowd responds, creates a space called the mosh-pit and in that pit they descend like zombies; their participation restricted to pushing, shoving, spitting, flinging themselves, spinning heads, falling, getting trampled, screaming and doing the same again and again. These are pits where youngsters, teenagers, and senile adults  allow themselves to get crushed, mashed and packed into unrecognizable forms.

Nothing but black is worn on stage by Metal Bands; black jackets, black shirts, black shorts, black pants, black bandanas, black socks, black boots and thick black kohl laden eyes and make-up. If they never wore anything, that would suffice as well on account of their bodies being covered in tattoos. Guys without deadly black glasses or big buckle belts or long tongues would be a disgrace to Metal. Chains, steel, multiple rings, nose rings, belly piercings, tattoos, skull heads, snakes, dragons, swords, guns, fierce looking beasts, all stick to Metal like magnets.

This Metal melts metal and human skulls simultaneously. As blinding green lights and red lights explode, Metal Concerts transform into furious sounds and mounds of forms swaying in unison with the inevitable hand gesture of the forefinger and little pinky thrust into darkness.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Is Michelle Obama Selling ObamaCare in China?

Nobody seems to be buying ObamaCare in America, so could selling ObamaCare to the Chinese be one of Michelle Obama's reasons for the China Trip? Flotus is not there for political reasons but maybe she should have. Did it not occur to her that selling ObamaCare with a different name like JiabaoCare would garner more support? With the change in name would come Made in China label along with drastically reduced costs much like other Made in China products? Regarding culture, what exchange could occur between Americans and Chinese where both cultures are poles apart and never the twain shall ever meet? So why exactly is Michelle traveling to China with a large entourage? Expenses for Michelle's China Trip as reported by media watchdogs are costing the country's taxpayers some hefty millions. Obamas' earlier trip to Africa cost the taxpayers a few millions as well! All the country got in return was a Selfie of Obama with the UK PM and Danish PM Helle Thorning-Shcimdt. Michelle is known to spend money freely and lavishly on her other vacations as well. Maybe Michelle could try getting one American, a job, via Chinese connections. White House Pastry Chef was recently let go by Michelle because he refused to replace eggs, butter and cream with some fruit fluff foo. This would be great considering there aren't many jobs available in America these days.

One good thing that could come out of Michelle's China Trip would be a push for new dress designs and hairdos for her fans who follow her keen sense of clothes, hair and other control issues. Michelle is in China with her mother and two daughters, the latter well behaved while the Mother slightly out of control. Mrs Robinson, Michelle Obama's mother has been heard barking orders to the Chinese hotel staff. Imagine misbehaving in a country which is hosting your trip. Unbelievable bad manners even for the Chinese who are not exactly known for good manners or kindness. Maybe the Chinese could convince Mrs Robinson to bark her orders for Barack Obama to shoo out Dalai Lama next time the exiled Tibetan leader visited America (Dalai Lama has been living in India since the 1960s). The Chinese are not very tolerant of dissent and neither are the Obamas, so maybe this trip could be an important point of meeting between the wife-of-one-leader-who-is-no-longer-regarded-as-leader of the world and the wife-of-another-leader-who-is-trying-hard-to-be-the-leader of the world with stiff competition from wife of the Russian leader, Vladimir Putin.

Somebody said that earlier presidents had done the same thing as in sending their wives and children on 'cultural visits' but what this person forgot was that 17 trillion debt amassed under Obama by far surpassed all combined presidents' spending and vacations and what not. Best thing would have been to scrap the visit and use the money to pay down some debt, not that it would have made any difference in Liberal thinking of spending money as long as it was not theirs! Well so far, Michelle Obama has proven that correct and her mother is there to encourage her. What are mothers for?As most Obamas' policies have fallen flat, Michelle could try selling her health diets to the Chinese who supposedly have developed a penchant for American pizzas and hamburgers and are fast traveling on the obesity trail. Incidentally Michelle Obama's health foods for schools in America resulted in school kids going hungry and schools losing business, so this program may have been scrapped for good. The bottom line is, no amount of cultural exchanges between the Obamas and Jiabaos are going to make a dent in relations; it's all about who doles out the cash to whom and how much, something Obamas sorely lack in understanding because under their auspices, America has been essentially sold to China!

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Obama and Putin Discuss Crimea on Phone

Probable conversation between President Obama and President Putin:

Obama:   What's that about Crimea?
Putin:      What?
Obama:   Let me warn you!
Putin:      About what?
Obama:   There will be economic sanctions!
Putin:      From you?
Obama:   There will be consequences!
Putin:       For who?
Obama:    I'm getting ready to put my foot down.
Putin:       Where?
Obama:    On the table and take immediate action!
Putin:       Oh damn!
Obama:    I'll get Europe to back me!
Putin:       Who's that?
Obama:    Stay out of Crimea!
Putin:       It's Russian business as usual.
Obama:    Leave Crimea alone.
Putin:       Oh that!
Obama:    Don't play with me!
Putin:       Yeah, I'm real scared of America!
Obama:    Are you?
Putin:       Nah! Just for a laugh, I even got my Parliament to say yes! It's all legal!
Obama:    What about people of Crimea!
Putin:       Anything else before I settle my troops there?
Obama:    I'm warning you again!
Putin:       FU!