Sunday, March 17, 2013

I should have been a Drill Instructor


If not a mother, I would have liked to be a Drill Instructor. I experience calamity every time my college kid comes home. Clothes adorn every chair and sofa in the house, bags are placed in the middle of the room, protein jars opened up and little mounds of protein powder are visible everywhere. We sent them with things in pristine shape, they come back with not even one thing in order. Between my son and his friend, just in a span of few months, they successfully managed to bust their TV, microwave, and the refrigerator; the phone is busted too along with the ipod. I know when the kids enter or exit the house by thuds of doors and trails of clothes. Shirts have been tried and dropped, their labels torn and flung on bed, jeans have been worn and relinquished, socks turned into furry balls and sent flying from one end of the house to the other. Music is loud and I am warned about the rap song Mouli Mouli; it's about drugs! 

As far as the other Marine-to-be kid is concerned, I'll wait for him to go and come back from the Boot Camp. I've heard good stories about it and I'm hoping to hear some yes ma'ams and seeing some real life miracles occurring in my home.

Getting ready for Marines Boot Camp with help from Staff Sergeant Toby


At the Boot Camp, Drill Instructors encapsulate a mother's revenge on kids who chose not to pay attention to a mother's plea for years and years. Forget what you learned in school about indoor and outdoor voices. Drill Instructors only have outdoor voices, which fall between growls or rumbles. It's best to yell 'Yes Sir' every second and intersperse it with some 'No Sir' at appropriate intervals. Drill Instructors can melt Metal, Metal heads and Head bangers in one shot. Nobody knows what the Drill Instructors say, but everybody understands them, comprehends them and fully digests the pearls flying from a Drill Instructor's mouth. If you look at them, they'll give you hell, if you avoid looking at them, well you might as well give them your ears voluntarily; they're going to be chewing it anyway. I think every house could do with a Drill Instructor.

3 comments:

  1. Too funny but a valid conclusion,

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    1. Thank you for agreeing. I think even your Mum would agree :)

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