Monday, April 18, 2011

Ms Harley Davidson, my Husband's first Love.

For many days now I've been hearing this low growl. As I am not particularly a dog lover or even a cat lover, I don't think it's an animal caught in the boards. Perhaps it's the kids just being boys and maybe that sound is mere complaining or maybe just joy - I cannot tell. I finally decide to take matters in my hand, find this damn noise and be done with it. This has been the nth time of my sleep-in-Saturdays being rudely disturbed. I decide to roar downstairs to investigate the sound from the basement where my husband aka Bapi does his browsing and works out. There he also drools over various Ms Harleys. I find him sitting in front of the computer watching clips of Harley Davidson on a loop. I cannot believe it - Bapi is watching one particular Ms Harley start up, rumble, die down, and then like the obsessive compulsive disordered being, do this repeatedly. Argh, it's that sight of Ms Harley that gives meaning to Bapi's existence; it's that sweet rumble; it's that thing that throbs between the legs; it's what Bapi lives and dies for; for all I care it's that big black buffalo that permeates the air.

What is with men and these glorious roaring machines? My husband's current love luckily sleeps in the garage. I've put my foot down, the garage or nothing. If Bapi had his way, Ms Harley would be sleeping with us every day. Pre-marital counseling nowhere in the universe includes husbands' first love - Ms Harley eternal, past-present-future. Woe is me who thinks this was going to be a passing fancy. Heaven forbid that I even remotely considered that this affair would fizzle out with time. Time has only added to the menace. It has in fact grown larger and bigger! After all this affair is unique unlike others which often result in divorce, death, or destruction. Harley love is directly proportionate to size. The bigger the beautiful; the blacker the better. On the other hand, the more I hover around Ms Harley Davidson, the better I too feel for me and my size. Not to be undone by such blatant affirmations of love, I too have found a way to get around this conundrum; love the lover better than the love. 

I thought the first Harley, a mere 1200 cc and weighing a 1000 pounds would suffice. Then way deep into our marriage, having survived the 7 year itch, the Harley mania began to surface again. For the past month, the madness has been in full bloom. Ghosts of Ms Harley are being seen and heard around the house; finances are being re-calculated; trade-ins are being discussed; the sounds of Harley growls are being turned into the morning raga as well as the evening ones. That rumble that I mentioned in the first paragraph, well that is our household's newest mantra sound. It is the Fat Boy Low that Bapi is pining for. Bapi now wants the 5000 pound bike, the kinds that would require a truck to haul them up, if they fell. This is what Bapi wants. This is what is going to make him the complete man that he's always dreamed of being. When he gets his Fat Boy Low, oh boy would he feel the veritable HOG. He would finally hold his head high among those insufferable Harley riders who till now have been sneering at him; sniggering at the sight of him riding one of those Sportsters, the kinds that women ride. This mistress I feel is not going away; if Harley is the sweet Sauten, it can stay ...

Saute' the Sauten.
I get a kick
out of sautens
they work so hard
untangling knots
hardly interesting
as other matters
do justice however
to monitoring pressure
inflating one
deflating another

keep things cooking
simmering at best
spicing it
with a battle at rest

don't care
for the cadence
of pretty
it's the intent
of the maiden
that will
saute' the sauten ...


  1. John Samson:
    Just warn him not to park it in the driveway. Makes for interesting reading.

  2. Joyce, you are venturing into the deep end of the mysteries of this universe. As unknown as life itself. So sit back and get amused, occasionally get confused but don't try to make any sense of it. After all, much to our bewilderment even the penguins and the turtles travel all the way to lay their eggs where they were born...
    Beautifully written. All the best.. Prateek

  3. Chhabi Agarwal:
    कौन है ये सुंदरी हारली डेविडसन
    जिसने चुराया है
    तुम्हारे पति का मन
    ऊसको पका के
    तुमको क्या मिलेगा
    पति तो उसीके
    ख्वाबों में खोया रहेगा

  4. पति ने कहा
    दाल मे कुझ काला है
    हारली बोली
    मुझे पकाने का ईरादा है

    मैने कहा
    सपन सुनदरी
    अगर तशन ईतना
    दिखाती हो
    अपना घर
    खुद ही ङूङो
    मेरी गराज मे क्यू रहती हो ?

    जब भी चली
    दुनिया हिली
    सपनो मे मिला करो
    यह मुझे मनज़ूर है

  5. Chhabi Agarwal:
    दाल ? काला? काली दाल ?
    ये सब है ईर्ष्या का कमाल
    सौतन तो आखिर सौतन है
    वो लगाती है दिमाग पर ताला
    और बढाती है जलन की ज्वाला
    उसको स्वप्न सुंदरी बनाकर
    गैराज तो क्या
    सपनोंमें भी न आने दो

  6. खयाल तुमहारा अचछा हेै
    पर भेजा मेरा भृशट हेै
    इरशा ने रूप लिया हारली का
    तुमने कहा
    पकाने का फःायदा कया
    पतियाॉ झड गइी
    हारली नही गइी
    नइॅ कहानी ङूङते हेे
    जिदगी का सफःर
    अभी बाकी है

  7. John Francis: C'mon a man should be allowed at least one 'harley'... a big one though!!..:)

  8. Geeta Ahlawat: Oh Joyce, you make my day! Love it!! Thanks - and keep writing. Yeh dil mange more!!

  9. Vandana Shah: Like they say, a man never forgets his first love. Now I am even more glad that I chose not to marry and share my hubby with past, present n future soutens:)) Good thing tumne use ghar se bahar nikalwa diya and penned down the account so wonderfully, in your great writing style:)))

  10. Abha Chadha: i cannot take your side.. cuz its you he took as a bride.. while the bike my dear.. is nothing more than a sweet ride..

  11. Chhabi Agarwal: Men and their maleness, (manhood, masculinity..whatever) and their Machines..We should not even attempt to figure that one out. Leave them to their obsessions..They do come from Mars, we got to remember that.

  12. Jim Decouto: Earth & machines argh just fine for argh escapism from you Venus aliens

  13. Reena Dodeja: Behind the Roar of Ms Harley..Its the Roar of the Lioness ! Bapi can only hear the first one . LOL !

  14. Gita Viswanath: that was fun

  15. Prakash Zaveri: It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed....